Wednesday, January 29, 2020
The Parents and their Children Essay Example for Free
The Parents and their Children Essay The family is the basic unit of society. It is the first social group one immediately and involuntarily becomes a part of. The immediate family consists of the father, the mother, and the children. Ideally, the father is the provider of the family. He is superior, because he holds the foundation of the family. If the father is weak, the rest of the family collapses. The mother is the light of the family. She is the guiding factor for decision-making in the house.  Ideally, she makes sure the house is in order and whatever the provider gives her, she makes it work. In order for the family to be happy, the children need to be emotionally and physically loved. In the poem, After Making Love We Hear Footsteps, the author described the love-making between the husband and wife, and then a baby appears. It is notable that the parents are delighted to have the baby and was described to be â€Å"this blessing love gives again into our arms. In turn, the baby is very happy to be with loving and snuggling parents and wants to join. The baby can feel the acceptance and great love from his parents, so in feeling loved, the author wrote: his face gleaming with satisfaction at being this very child. (Galway, K. 1980). When fathers partake in taking care of the children even after a hard day’s work, it gives the children a sense of greater comfort to know both parents love them. In the poem, My Papas Waltz, the boy was dancing with his father: The hand that held my wrist Was battered on one knuckle; At every step you missed My right ear scraped a buckle. (Roethke, T. 1908-1963. 3rd stanza). In this poem, the boy doesn’t want to go to bed yet. The first and second line described the hand of the father that was calloused due to hard work. Note that the author of this poem lived during the time where most fathers work with hard machinery as factory workers, you can just imagine how tired the father must be at the end of the day. The third and fourth line described the height of the boy how young and small he was because his ear was just at the waist level of the father.  The father’s technique of putting him to bed was done in a positive way. He danced and played with his son, even though they made a mess in the kitchen. The mother in this poem, however, was trying to control her laughter, as stated in the poem: her countenance could not unfrown itself. (Roethke, T. 1908-1963. 2nd stanza). One is very fortunate if a family is functional. A functional family is a family where all the members are emotionally and physically sound. If a family is sound, the parents can be very protective of their children. They want a good future for their children like any loving parent would. If something happens to their children out of the ordinary, the parents are the greatest to suffer. If death occurs in the family, the members will normally become depressed. Killings, is a story which tells about the parents dealing with the pain of loss of their son, Frank, due to murder. Here, one of the siblings has thought of killing the murderer. The father also bought a .38 gun because he has the same intention too and being the father, he suffered the most. His thought for revenge was greatly influenced with his wifes depression, And at nights in bed she would hold Matt and cry, or sometimes she was silent and Matt would touch her tightening arm, her clenched fist. Eventually, the father killed the murderer. (Dubus, A. 1979).            In reality, most families are dysfunctional. The children are the ones greatly affected when this happens. Barn Burning, is a story of a father hurting his son. It was accounted many times how the father hit the child, His father struck him with the flat of his hand on the side of the head, hard but without heat, exactly as he had struck the two mules at the store, and this happened not only once in the story. It was also described that the child, being just a son, had always been brushed off whenever he speaks out to his father.  Then the slapping of the father eventually progressed into an abuse. The abuse was clearly identified, This time his father didnt strike him. The hand came even faster than the blow had, the same hand which had set the can on the table with almost excruciating care flashing from the can toward him too quickly for him to follow it, gripping him by the back of his shirt and on to tiptoe before he had seen it quit the can, the face stooping at him in breathless and frozen ferocity, and after that the father wanted the son to be tied up to the bedpost. The sad part here was that the childs mother, aunt, and siblings were indifferent. The child was able to run free into the woods, and, like escaping a nightmare, he ran as far away from the house and did not look back. (Faulkner, W. 1939).            The role of the father as the provider is indeed very important. The mother and the children are powerless over the actions of the father because they are dependent on him financially. The children tolerate abuse from parents because they are too young to become independent. Moreover, they are still innocent and confused. If the child grew up with loving parents, most likely the child will be loving and caring too. If the child grew up in an abusive environment, chances are the child will grow up with personality disorders one day. Children view their parents as their role models, because they mirror themselves to be as strong as them. In the short story, Barn Burning, although the child ran away, when he learned that his father joined the army, (which may have caused his fathers leg to be amputated), he was proud. The father is still the figure of strength in the family. Ideally, fathers should do their best to provide. (Faulkner, W. 1939).            If a family member dies, the rest of the family grieves. Depression is the result of a long grief. Due to this, family members might think of revenge over the death of a loved one, for instance, the father killed the murderer in the short story, Killings. The father here didnt act alone, and he was helped by his friend, Willis, to plot and kill the murderer. At the same time, the father didn’t reveal anything to his wife, although the wife suspected that her husband was plotting to kill the suspect. Even though the wife knew there was a plot, she was calm and â€Å"waited†for it to happen, in short, she agreed to kill the suspect too. The father was not a bad person, but the suspect took the life of his son and the sight of the suspect pained him and his wife so much. In this case, the murder done by the father was justified because of grief. (Dubus, A. 1979).            It is good to know why these poems and short stories are written as such. Authors write something for a reason. Their works are forms of expression of their real experiences. For example, Emily Dickinson wrote â€Å"The Bustle in a House,†which describes â€Å"mourning after death.†  (Dickinson, E. 1866. 1st stanza.). It may be related to her real life story due to loss of loved ones. She stated:            The sweeping up the heart            And putting love away            We shall not want to use again            Until eternity. (Dickinson, E. 1866. 2nd stanza.). Death is a fact of life so one should resume his normal life to be able to recover from depression. This view of death is also similar to the poem, â€Å"February,†which stated on the last line, â€Å"Get rid of death. Celebrate increase. Make it be spring.†(Atwood, M. 1995). Parents will always â€Å"fear for their children†whether their parental ways are good or bad. (Dubus, A. 1979). Parents know the value of having children and it’s priceless. They just have different ways of showing value. Some of them treat their children as possessions, because of their fear and insecurities, so there’s a tendency to be abusive. Still, the love of parents will always be there and they will always be the first ones to grieve over the death of their children. Grief is associated with love.
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